Barf.

I have never been good at decision making.
Never ever. I over-think like nobodies business. I think way too much. It's never easy.

I don't want to say that I don't enjoy the moment while I'm in it. Because I definitely do.
I am loving every minute of my time here in Thailand.
But that doesn't mean that my mind doesn't occasionally wander to two months ahead when I'm home.

When I come home, Cameron has four months left of his mission.
Four Months 
Remember when he just left? I literally thought that 2012 would never come.
And now it's coming faster than I could have ever imagined.
I feel so ready!
And not ready at all.

Recently, I was presented with the idea of going to China in the fall as Head Teacher with ILP.
Basically, all expenses paid. To travel to China. To teach adorable children for 5 months.
Walk on the great wall of China. See the Teracotta Warriors. Visit the forbidden city?
Yes please.

Oh but wait. Remember how I would be gone August-December?
Remember how Cameron comes home in September?
Remember how I'm sure that him adjusting without me would be a great thing for him?
Remember how I'm sure I would hate life for a little bit knowing he was home, and I was in China?
Awesome.
My brain hurts so much from thinking about it.
My mouth hurts from talking about it.
My heart hurts from weighing it all out.
And my knees hurt from praying about it.

I feel like my head is going to explode.
And I feel like my heart is not far behind.

Here's to a lot more thinking.
Much more talking.
And even more praying.
jkdfhasdjafhsdadsagfds