A road-trip is not ever complete without a slim jim for breakfast.
Take our advice. Don't fool yourself by thinking you can travel for 4+ hours..
and then shop for 4+ hours
and not look like this by the end of the day.
Spend some quality time with family at the funnest play place around.
But make sure to fill up your game card with at least $20
because "insufficiant funds" when you are trying to play a water gun game.
is unexplainably sad.
Save monies by avoiding food all together.
Simply get your energy from 3+ energy drinks a day..
a whole tub of Honey Greek Yogurt and sour patch kids.
Every. Day.
Don't be sad when plans fall through.
Laying on your hotel bed for hours is just as good.
Don't forget to put your parking pass on your dash.
Your car WILL get a boot put on it.
And you will trek to the front desk and demand it be removed in your socks.
But you will want to ask to keep the paper to scrapbook.
When you are afraid that creeps are peekin in to your 1st floor hotel room,
simply gather together the curtains and tie with a hair elastic in the middle.
Creativity at it's finest.
Do go to the Living Planet Aquarium and take a solid 5 minutes
bending down to take a picture in front of a random sea rock thing.
Do that.
Also, pet some sting rays while you are there.
Or pretend to, after one of them attacks you.
And then smell like fish for the rest of the day.
Make sure your pits are dry before you arrive at your destination.
Even request that your best friend fan them if needed.
Go bowling with some dapper men, lay on the grass at the U,
walk around in the avenues, and stop at a 7-11 on your way back,
for what else? Red Bulls.
Around 11pm, decide to drive 35 minutes away to attend the haunted forest.
Next time, make sure the guy-girl ratio is even. It is a must.
Next time, make sure you use the bathroom prior.
Do not attempted to eat Sunday brunch at a very posh "Wild Grape"
More-so, do not order the hazelnut french toast or breakfast burrito.
Also, be prepared to pay $3 for that tiny cup of juice.
And no, there are no free refills at the grape.
Do make a random supposed-to-be quick trip to PC
end up spending half the day there,
and then end up staying at a sweeeet Marriott for pennies.
Clearly your going to need to take advantage of the giant checkers board.
And if you play correctly, you will be victorious.
Eat some
real food at thee most delicious Mexican restaurant
....nameeed ...Something Cantina. DO order milk if available.
Spicy!
On the way back to the room, drop your food in the middle of the hallway.
And hey, if you feel like your going to lose it your laughing so hard.
Just take a sit. Riight in the middle of the hallway.
Your best friend will gladly capture the moment on camera.
End your trip with good friends, looking terrible in sweats,
eating again...lots of crappy food, talking & laughing,
playing minute-to-win-it with sour gummy worms,
groccery shopping for cold medicine, exploring the huge resort,
and playing some chess with visine.
And hey, it's okay to be pathetically sad when you leave for home the next morning.
